What the Heck was that?

I was suppose to wake up early to work out this morning. Well my husband and I were going to but my daughter kept waking up throughout the night. (she has an ear infection) So sadly, it didn't happen. We took her to the Dr.s and then after that we came home and we "planned" to work out real quick before Miguel had to go to work, but we ordered pizza instead. Not just any pizza, but Jet's pizza. Deep dish, Garlic buttered crust, covered in cheese and pepperoni. We also got  side of cheesy bread sticks. I ate one piece of pizza and two pieces of oh so delicious bread sticks. Half way through I started wondering about how many calories I was eating and how much harder will I have to work out to burn it off? What was wrong with me???? I've been exercising, isn't that good enough? NOPE. Now my conscious is nagging me. I have never in my life felt guilt for eating greasy, and fatty foods. Maybe it's because I've never weighed this much before. Maybe it's because I'm dead serious about wanting to get skinny. Or maybe it's really being scared to death of working out and not seeing any results because I love pizza way too much! (okay, breathe Esther. Soon the spinning will stop) All I know is that this is all new for me. I never had to diet before. I never had to care about what food I ate. but those days are long gone. I need to forget about those days and do something about today.  I need to keep pushing forward. Okay.... the spinning has slowed down. OH one more thing! After eating that yummy pizza, I ate a Krispy Kreme glazed donut.... :sigh: Dear God Help Me!!